Leo's Green with NV
by SonicLover
Summary: Yes, another one of THESE. Having your boyfriend walk away from you to who knows where is no laughing matter, especially when you're trying to snag a Sadie Hawkins date. Just read it.
1. All's Not So Fair in Love and War

08:10 PM - NEW YORK CITY  
A couple was having its 25th anniversary in an apartment building. The husband, Hank, and his wife, Rose, held up two shirts. "Oh, look! Matching Hawaiian shirts!" "Oh, we love them, kids."

The two put the shirts down, and Rose held up one more gift. "And last but not least, for you, darling."

Hank unwrapped it; it was a cologne bottle. "Possession?"

"Top of the line, and the last one in the store. Here, let me." Rose held up the bottle and sprayed him.

Hank's reaction was not as one would expect. All of a sudden, he got up and started to leave. It was like he was hypnotized or something.

Rose watched. "H-Hank? Where are you going?"

"Must find true love."

Needless to say, Rose was heartbroken, maybe even …  
-

Green with N.V.

(Leo's Edition)

Author's note: Mat couldn't decide between this one and "Child's Play", so I made the decision for him. I hope I did it correctly. This thing's been stalled for a long time, but I finally got it done.

-  
Chapter 1: All's Not So Fair in Love and War  
-

02:00 PM - BEVERLY HILLS HIGH SCHOOL  
In the cafeteria, the girls were looking at David, the tender. They let out a synchronized sigh of lovingness.

"There's just something about a guy in uniform," Clover said.

"Yeah," Alex agreed, "it should be illegal to be that cute."

David approached the girls. "Here you go, girls. That's two iced chai teas and one iced decaf mocha frappe with no-fat whip."

"Thanks, David," all three of them said together.

"Don't mention it. Hey, where's Leo? Doesn't he usually hang with you?"

Sam spoke up. "Normally, yes, but he's home sick today with a cold. His nose is so stuffed up, he can't smell a thing."

"So, David," Clover started to ask, "I was wondering if you had plans for Saturday night."

Alex kicked Clover under the counter. "David, could you excuse us? Girl talk."

"Cool. No problem." David walked away from the girls.

As soon as David turned his back, Alex pointed at Clover. "You were going to ask David to the Sadie Hawkins dance, weren't you?"

"Isn't that the point of a Sadie Hawkins dance, Alex?" Clover shot back. "The girl asks the guy?"

"Yeah, but did you stop to consider that this girl might want to ask that guy?"

"Whoa, girls," Sam interrupted, "no guy is worth this stress. Especially when the guy in question is so clearly interested in me."

"What?" "Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry. Look. I say we make a pact. None of us invite David to the dance. Best friends first and foremost. No fighting over guys."

The three girls clinked their glasses (which, for some reason, seemed to be three ice chai teas at that point). Then, they were WOOHP'd.

THUMP! The girls dropped down the usual tunnel, landing in a perfect sitting position. I came down a separate tunnel and landed on a pillow that someone had placed there.

I sniffed a little. Jerry raised an eyebrow. "Impressive."

"That was way too easy," Sam responded as I retrieved my pencil from under the pillow. Then, the girls' beverages came down and landed on Clover's head. I giggled a little as I sniffed again. Sam and Alex joined in.

Jerry handed Clover a towel as we approached him. "Can we get down to business?"

Clover took the towel and wiped her hair clean. "It's always work, work, work with you, Jer. You know what you need? A date!"

There was a moment of silence as Jerry blushed a little before replying. "I have no time to date, and neither do you." I took the towel and blew my nose on it, disgusting Jerry a little.

WOOHP JET  
"A recent phenomenon has been happening in New York," Jerry explained. "Men are suddenly leaving their wives and girlfriends."

"Guys can be such flakes," Alex commented.

"Except for David," Sam added. "He's perfect."

Clover got a word in. "And completely Sadie Hawkins-worthy."

Jerry silenced the girls. "Spies, please focus. These men aren't just leaving, they're walking out the door with nothing but the shirts on their backs, never to be heard from again."

"That is odd," Sam decided, finally getting on task.

"Extremely."

"I figure there's some kind of (sniff) connection between the leaving men," I figured. "There's always (sniff) some kind of connection."

Jerry spoke up again. "And it's your job to find it. And now for some gadgets that may help you in your mission."

As he spoke, he showed us the gadgets. "Inside you'll find hoverboards, bungee belts, scanner watches, suction-cup-bottomed go-go boots and sneakers for Leo, and wonder makeover kits. To work the kits, you program the desired look and the automated applicators spring into action."

Alex sat up in her seat. "Spring? But my colors are more of a summer."

"Trust me, Alex," I interrupted, "the (sniff) bad puns are my job."

Jerry sighed. "Just find where these men are and why they're disappearing." He handed me a package of tissues, and the girls a piece of paper. "Here's an address of a distressed wife you should question."

"You sure you don't want to come, Jer?" Clover asked. "With all these newly single women, you might just snag a date."

"… Good luck, spies." Jerry dropped us off, literally. I didn't even have time to blow my nose.

03:00 PM - NEW YORK CITY  
We were all standing in the apartment of a woman named Rose. She was awfully sad; heck, she was sniffling even more than I was.

"So, you were celebrating your anniversary when your husband just bolted?" Clover asked, trying to get the facts. (Thanks for giving me the info, Gold Ranger!)

"Hank and I had such a happy marriage," Rose explained. "We didn't even argue over the remote." She pointed at a picture on the wall. "That was my Hank."

Sam got up. "Rose, would you mind if we looked around?"

"Yes," I agreed. "We (sniff) might be able to find a clue about Hank's (sniff) disappearance."

"Oh, go ahead."

"I'll just check behind that lamp," Alex said, walking over to a corner of the room. I glanced at her, and I thought I saw her doing something with her compowder. Was she calling David? No, it couldn't be. The girls had made a pact.

"Nope, nothing behind the lamp," Alex finally concluded. I raised an eyebrow and blew my nose at the same time. "Find anything?" she added.

Clover had found something under the couch. "What's this?"

Rose looked at what Clover had found. "Oh, the gift paper I used to wrap Hank's cologne. Oh, I should have gone with the golf clubs."

"Why?" Sam questioned.

"He left after I sprayed it on him," Rose told us. "Said something about finding his true love."

"Interesting. Where'd you buy it?"

Rose and I sniffed at the same time. "A small boutique on the upper east side."

"Thanks for the (sniff) tip," I told Rose. "We'll be off now."

A LITTLE LATER - UPPER EAST SIDE  
The girls and I were not impressed by a commercial we saw on a big TV screen. "Possession. Only from Natalie Valentine."

"Ugh," Alex finally said. "That gave me the heebie-jeebies."

"Yes, the promo IS cheap and bogus," the sales clerk explained, "but successful. In one week, I sold a thousand bottles. Natalie Valentine is a marketing genius."

"Go Nat!" Clover cheered. "I'll buy a bottle."

"Sorry," she responded, "we're sold out. With Valentine's Day coming, it flew off the shelves."

"What about that bottle?" Sam asked, pointing at a bottle on the counter.

"It's a return."

"I don't care if it's missing a squirt," Alex countered.

"Besides (sniff)," I added, "it'd be a little (sniff) silly to return such a successful product."

"Successful is not the word to describe it. Look, I'm doing you a favor. You're too young to get your hearts broken. The product is a total flop."

"Flop? But you sold a thousand bottles."

"And now I have a thousand unhappy customers, myself included." The clerk drew aside a curtain, revealing a whole mess of Possession bottles.

"Whoa," the four of us all said at the same time.

"Yes," the clerk said. "After I gave a bottle to my fiance, he just vanished. Trust me, you're better off without it."

"Was he (sniff) saying something about finding his (sniff) true love?" I asked.

"Yes. How did you know"

"We questioned (sniff) one of your customers, and the same (sniff) thing happened."

"Sounds like men don't just hate this stuff," Clover pointed out, "they run from it."

"Good to know," Sam replied, approaching the large stack of bottles and taking one.

OUTSIDE  
"Keep that stuff away from me," Clover told Sam, "or I'll never get a date for the dance."

"We should check out the manufacturer," Sam pointed out. "There's a bar code on the back of the bottle; I'll use my scanner watch to trace it."

"I'll send a few drops of the guy repellent to Jerry for analysis," Alex said, opening her compowder.

"You go, girls," Clover said. "I'll just step over here and check my makeup."

As Clover walked around the corner and the other two girls did their jobs, I sneaked up to the corner and listened. I heard something about the dance and big kisses, but it couldn't be what I first thought it was, since the girls had made a pact against THAT.

"Did you get the location?" Clover asked, approaching us once again.

"Looks like we're off to Paris, girls. And Leo."

We hopped a WOOHP jet to the location.

05:45 PM - POSSESSION DISTRIBUTION CENTER  
The girls and I rushed across the roof and crouched on the edge of the roof. Several men were walking in.

"What is that smell?" Alex said, holding her nose.

"Don't look at me," I responded. "I can't smell a thing because of my cold."

"It's coming from down there," Alex told us, pointing at the crowd of men.

Clover was not happy. "What is this, a stink convention?"

"Hold your noses, girls," Sam commanded, "we're going in."

-  
Wow, long chapter. But there it is, and it's all finished. I even managed to get "Malled" taped, cutting out the commercials so it'd be sure to fit on the tape, and guess what? Without all the commercials, a "half-hour" episode of Totally Spies is about twenty minutes long. Who'd have thought? 


	2. Women as Men

Green with N.V.

Author's note: Well, here's the second chapter. Look over it and tell me what you think.  
-  
Chapter 2: Women as Men  
-

The four of us jumped down and hid behind a nearby pillar. I could've sworn I saw a Totally Spies poster on the side of it.

Deciding nobody would notice four more people in the crowd of men, the girls and I joined in. I got through with no problem, but a guard stopped Sam, Alex, and Clover. "My true love doesn't accept visitors."

Alex gasped. "You're Rose's-"

Sam covered Alex's mouth. "Bonjour, monsieur. Nice cologne. Is this where we can get a bottle?"

"No women allowed," the guard said, "except my true love."

"Leave this to me," Clover told Sam and Alex, stepping forward and pulling her trademark hair-flip-and-smile.

The guard was not affected. "No one enters but the true love."

Back hiding behind the pillar, Clover was in tears. "Okay, what just happened? The hair flip and smile always works. Well, except when I try it on Leo."

"This is the weirdest case ever," Alex added.

"Then it calls for drastic measures," Sam decided, taking out her makeover kit.

Moments later, the girls tried the approach again, this time dressed like men. Alex was dressed like a construction worker, Sam a policeman, and Clover a surfer. "This might be a little too drastic, Sammy," Alex remarked.

"Come on, Alex," Sam responded. "Try to be a man about it."

The guards did not stop the girls. "Thanks, dudes," I heard Clover say.

"We're getting good at this," Sam said as they entered the warehouse. "If we can't get dates to the dance, we can always go with ourselves."

All of a sudden, Sam, Clover, and Alex froze as they looked around the factory. I ducked out from behind some crates and joined them. "What's (sniff) wrong?"

I quickly saw what was wrong. A man was putting two barrels filled with Possession on a handcart, which another man wheeled away.

"From bottles to barrels?" Sam wondered as we hid in a balcony. "That's quite a marketing shift."

"Maybe it's (sniff) a lot more than just a marketing shift," I suggested.

At that moment, a drop of something fell on Alex's hand. "Huh? Hey, anyone getting rained on besides me?"

We looked up. The drop had come from what looked like a fire sprinkler system. Clover leaned over and sniffed Alex. "That's not rain, Alex, it's cologne."

"Something's not right here," Sam pointed out. "Why would someone mist cologne?"

"I don't know, but someone should tell them less is more," Clover shot back, holding her nose.

"Wouldn't make (sniff) much difference to me," I mentioned. "I can't (sniff) smell a thing because of my cold."

Then, Alex noticed something. "Girls (ahem) guys, look at that!"

Alex had noticed a large lab with a machine. "Good eye, Alex," Sam said. "Maybe that lab will tell us something. Let's slide down and check it out."

As we walked through the lab, Alex glanced over at a label on the machine. "Possessor Perspirator? That sounds incredibly weird."

"Agreed (sniff)," I added. "I wonder what it does."

"I'm calling Jerry," Sam said as she dialed something on her compowder. "Maybe he's got the cologne analysis back."

"Good idea," Clover replied. "Alex, Leo and I will check out the perspirator."

Sam was not having much luck. "That's odd. He's not there. I'm gonna try one more time."

As she called again, Sam hugged the wall so we wouldn't hear her. I guess she wanted her call to be confidential. But why would she want that, unless …? No, they made a pact. But if Alex and Clover did it, but why not Sam?

Sam then approached us. "So?"

"No clue," Alex replied. "It far exceeds bizarro."

"Heck (sniff)," I added, "if bizarre (sniff) was my cold, that (sniff) machine would make me dead (sniff) by now."

"Talk to Jer?" Clover asked.

"Nope," Sam replied, visibly a little nervous. "He's still not there."

"That's weird. Ooh, maybe he's on a date"

After a short silence, the four of us all burst into laughter, which was silenced when the doors opened and someone very familiar-looking entered the warehouse.

The men were all gathered by the door. "Our true love," they chanted over and over as they showered her with flower petals.

"That's Natalie Valentine!" "Oh no, here come the heebie-jeebies again." "Quick, she's heading our way."

We grabbed spare baskets of flower petals and joined in with the men. Natalie walked down the line and approached the Perspirator. She walked up a set of steps and sat down inside.

I didn't get a good look at what Natalie was doing, but it looked like a tanning booth in there. "You've got to be kidding!" Sam said.

"Gross!" Clover added. "Doesn't she know that faux tanning is so not good for the skin?"

"She's not tanning," Sam realized as she bent out of line to get a good look. "She's putting her sweat into the cologne."

"So it's her own sweat that keeps those guys possessed?" Alex interjected.

"That's genius!" Clover added. "Uh, I mean, that's sick."

"I don't (sniff) know how it works, and (sniff) I can't believe it does," I mentioned.

As Natalie exited the Perspirator and walked by the line, the men got down on their hands and knees one by one. Alex broke the chain. "As if!"

Natalie hesitated. "What did you say?"

Alex tried to fast-talk her way out of the situation. "I said, you're my one true love."

Miss Valentine was not fooled. She tore off Alex's fake mustache. "Devotees. Get them!"

The chase was on. Clover activated her hoverboard. "Quick! Jump on!"

As we boarded through the air, some men started throwing nets at us. We dodged every one, but noticed a wall of men blocking the exit. "Pull up, Clover! Pull up!" Sam yelled.

Clover pulled up, and we headed back the way we came, only to crash into a pile of boxes. We landed in a heap on top of each other, and the hoverboard fell into the vat. Somehow my pencil survived the trip.

"Ugh, wipeout," Clover managed to say.

Natalie chuckled. "Prepare them for the vat."

"The vat?" I said. "That (sniff) doesn't sound too inviting."

-  
Doesn't sound too inviting, indeed. Tune in next time for the next chapter! 


End file.
